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Dan Jamieson
Please don't make me beg for a top up, 30 October - 15 November 2025

Dan Jamieson: Please don't make me beg for a top up

Past exhibition
  • FRAMED HATE PLATES
  • HATE PLATES
  • SCREENPRINTS
  • SLEBS SLABS
  • PAINTINGS
  • NEONS
  • Overview
    Dan Jamieson, Please don't make me beg for a top up

     

    Back by popular demand (and a little bit of attitude), we're delighted to present Dan Jamieson's latest exhibition. His famous hate plates reimagine the politest of domestic objects as vehicles for satire — glossy, hand-crafted, and uncompromisingly blunt. Alongside luminous neons and bold prints, these works speak the thoughts we’d never say out loud (or perhaps only after a glass of wine), revealing the passive-aggressive undercurrents of contemporary life. They may make you laugh, squirm, or nod in recognition, but they also stand as brilliantly executed contemporary pieces of art: bold in design, precise in craft, and utterly unapologetic. 

     

    This page illustrates the pieces which are still available to purchase, and is updated regularly throughout the exhibition. 

  • FRAMED HATE PLATES
    • Fantastic. You bought the utter dog shit wine. (S)
      Fantastic. You bought the utter dog shit wine. (S)
      Sold
    • I'd rather be drinking home made cocktails and dancing to talking heads. (S)
      I'd rather be drinking home made cocktails and dancing to talking heads. (S)
      Sold
    • Quick! Quaff that wine as now is the time to dance badly to 90s R'n'B. (S)
      Quick! Quaff that wine as now is the time to dance badly to 90s R'n'B. (S)
      Sold
    • (Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S)
      (Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S)
    • Pass le vin to pass le temps. (S)
      Pass le vin to pass le temps. (S)
    • I am sorry for fabricating another 'cold' for my child in order to cancel on you. (S)
      I am sorry for fabricating another 'cold' for my child in order to cancel on you. (S)
    • Give you the (world) smaller glass of wine and hope you don't notice. (M)
      Give you the (world) smaller glass of wine and hope you don't notice. (M)
      Sold
    • Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with bastard blossom hill. (M)
      Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with bastard blossom hill. (M)
    • (The Venga bus) Middle age is coming. (M)
      (The Venga bus) Middle age is coming. (M)
      Sold
    • Oh christ. Don't just stand there. Fetch more wine. (M)
      Oh christ. Don't just stand there. Fetch more wine. (M)
      Sold
    • Fuck your fucking moany and drink this nice negroni. (M)
      Fuck your fucking moany and drink this nice negroni. (M)
      Sold
    • Please do not vape in the house like some ill-mannered cunt. (M)
      Please do not vape in the house like some ill-mannered cunt. (M)
    • Oh babes, you are not a fucking interior designer. (M)
      Oh babes, you are not a fucking interior designer. (M)
    • Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with the echo fucking falls. (M)
      Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with the echo fucking falls. (M)
    • Oh do fuck off with your we must get a date in the diary soon. (M)
      Oh do fuck off with your we must get a date in the diary soon. (M)
      Sold
    • We were all having a nice time until you came in and farted. (M)
      We were all having a nice time until you came in and farted. (M)
    • Thou shall not kill the vibe with your antiquated and outdated opinions. (XL)
      Thou shall not kill the vibe with your antiquated and outdated opinions. (XL)
      Sold
    • Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
      Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
    • Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case) (XL)
      Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case) (XL)
    • Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL)
      Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL)
    • Art is for everyone except you, you narrow minded twat. (XL)
      Art is for everyone except you, you narrow minded twat. (XL)
    • If you're reading this you are way too close you little fucking perv. (XL)
      If you're reading this you are way too close you little fucking perv. (XL)
    • Live, laugh, lick me out, lasagne. (XL)
      Live, laugh, lick me out, lasagne. (XL)
  • HATE PLATES
    • Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend. (S)
      Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend. (S)
    • I think it's safe to say we were never really friends, we were just fucked. (S)
      I think it's safe to say we were never really friends, we were just fucked. (S)
    • Please do not spill on the tatami. It is Japanese. (made in China). (S)
      Please do not spill on the tatami. It is Japanese. (made in China). (S)
    • Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
      Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
    • Which clever cunt drank all the delightfully, delicious crémant? (M)
      Which clever cunt drank all the delightfully, delicious crémant? (M)
    • I liked brutalism before you liked brutalism. (M)
      I liked brutalism before you liked brutalism. (M)
      Sold
    • I'm sure your lifetime ISA will keep you company when you are sat in a nursing home. (M)
      I'm sure your lifetime ISA will keep you company when you are sat in a nursing home. (M)
    • Give you (the world) one whole night of fart free bedtime. (M)
      Give you (the world) one whole night of fart free bedtime. (M)
    • We are sorry but posting shit pictures of your mediocre makeover does not make you an interior designer. (M)
      We are sorry but posting shit pictures of your mediocre makeover does not make you an interior designer. (M)
      Sold
    • We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M)
      We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M)
    • It is ok. i brought my own Lao Gan Ma crispy oil with me. (M)
      It is ok. i brought my own Lao Gan Ma crispy oil with me. (M)
    • Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
      Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
    • Imagine you get a call from liam neeson and he says you're about to be taken, then a pause and a giggle and he says taken out for dinner and dancing, my treat (M)
      Imagine you get a call from liam neeson and he says you're about to be taken, then a pause and a giggle and he says taken out for dinner and dancing, my treat (M)
    • I didn't realise having a child meant having so much mundane small talk with other parents. (M)
      I didn't realise having a child meant having so much mundane small talk with other parents. (M)
    • Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL)
      Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL)
    • I only came to drink the nice wine i left behind last time and criticise the water pressure. (XL)
      I only came to drink the nice wine i left behind last time and criticise the water pressure. (XL)
      Sold
    • Who drank all the fucking rosé? (XL)
      Who drank all the fucking rosé? (XL)
    • We are all thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine. and forgot the crisps. (XL)
      We are all thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine. and forgot the crisps. (XL)
    • So sorry to inform you but i looked up the words shit, bland and tacky and all that came up were naff pictures of your recent renovation passion project (XL)
      So sorry to inform you but i looked up the words shit, bland and tacky and all that came up were naff pictures of your recent renovation passion project (XL)
    • Please help yourself to drinks as we see you've arrived empty handed. yet again. (XL)
      Please help yourself to drinks as we see you've arrived empty handed. yet again. (XL)
      Sold
    • I'm not sure if i told you already, but i used to live in hackney wick, in a warehouse, before gentrification, but we had bidets. (XL)
      I'm not sure if i told you already, but i used to live in hackney wick, in a warehouse, before gentrification, but we had bidets. (XL)
    • Don't you dare touch the fancy glasses. only i may use the fancy glasses. (XL)
      Don't you dare touch the fancy glasses. only i may use the fancy glasses. (XL)
      Sold
    • I'm not sure it was the best time to play shaggy feat rik rok 'it wasn't me' as the gender was revealed at the gender reveal party that no one really wanted to come to (XL)
      I'm not sure it was the best time to play shaggy feat rik rok 'it wasn't me' as the gender was revealed at the gender reveal party that no one really wanted to come to (XL)
    • Yes the rumour is true. i only came to drink your wine, flirt and gossip. (XL)
      Yes the rumour is true. i only came to drink your wine, flirt and gossip. (XL)
    • All that she wants is another (baby) rosé. (XL)
      All that she wants is another (baby) rosé. (XL)
      Sold
    • Now is probably not the best time to interrupt the awkward silence with boom boom boom let me hear you say wayo. (XL)
      Now is probably not the best time to interrupt the awkward silence with boom boom boom let me hear you say wayo. (XL)
  • SCREENPRINTS
    • I’m not sure if I told you already, but I used to live in London. (3rd edition)
      I’m not sure if I told you already, but I used to live in London. (3rd edition)
    • Reach for the (stars) second bottle of wine (and pop a third in the fridge just in case)
      Reach for the (stars) second bottle of wine (and pop a third in the fridge just in case)
  • SLEBS SLABS
    • I Want Candy.
      I Want Candy.
    • RIP. Robin in Peace.
      RIP. Robin in Peace.
    • Love a Selleck-tion Box.
      Love a Selleck-tion Box.
    • KFC. Kevin Fried Catherine.
      KFC. Kevin Fried Catherine.
    • Drinkypoos with Sir David.
      Drinkypoos with Sir David.
      Sold
  • PAINTINGS
    • Kyoto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
      Kyoto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
    • If you steal my (sunshine) white wine.
      If you steal my (sunshine) white wine.
    • All that she wants is another (baby) rosé.
      All that she wants is another (baby) rosé.
    • I want it (that way) rosé.
      I want it (that way) rosé.
  • NEONS
    • Please don't make me beg for a top up.
      Please don't make me beg for a top up.
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