Dan Jamieson: Please don't make me beg for a top up
Past exhibition
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OverviewBack by popular demand (and a little bit of attitude), we're delighted to present Dan Jamieson's latest exhibition. His famous hate plates reimagine the politest of domestic objects as vehicles for satire — glossy, hand-crafted, and uncompromisingly blunt. Alongside luminous neons and bold prints, these works speak the thoughts we’d never say out loud (or perhaps only after a glass of wine), revealing the passive-aggressive undercurrents of contemporary life. They may make you laugh, squirm, or nod in recognition, but they also stand as brilliantly executed contemporary pieces of art: bold in design, precise in craft, and utterly unapologetic.
This page illustrates the pieces which are still available to purchase, and is updated regularly throughout the exhibition.
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FRAMED HATE PLATES
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Is the gig seated? (S)Sold -
Who drank all the fucking fancy wine? (S)Sold -
Fantastic. You bought the utter dog shit wine. (S) -
I don't care even if it was an accident. There will be no fucking Ed Sheeran in this house. (S)Sold
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I am dreadfully sorry but I only find you interesting when I am fucked. (S)Sold -
I'd rather be drinking home made cocktails and dancing to talking heads. (S) -
Please stop adding shit nostalgic songs from your youth to the carefully curated playlist. (S)Sold -
Quick! Quaff that wine as now is the time to dance badly to 90s R'n'B. (S)
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(Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S) -
Pass le vin to pass le temps. (S) -
I am sorry for fabricating another 'cold' for my child in order to cancel on you. (S) -
Please do not bring that overwhelmingly irritating friend of yours. (S)Sold
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Give you the (world) smaller glass of wine and hope you don't notice. (M) -
A packet of percy pigs and a wank will have to do. (M) -
Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with bastard blossom hill. (M) -
(The Venga bus) Middle age is coming. (M)
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Please remember if we do not suggest another bottle, that is your hint to soon leave. (M) -
Oh christ. Don't just stand there. Fetch more wine. (M) -
Fuck your fucking moany and drink this nice negroni. (M) -
Please do not vape in the house like some ill-mannered cunt. (M)
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Oh babes, you are not a fucking interior designer. (M) -
Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with the echo fucking falls. (M) -
Thou shall not kill the vibe with your antiquated and outdated opinions. (XL) -
Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
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Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case) (XL) -
Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL) -
Art is for everyone except you, you narrow minded twat. (XL) -
Kiss me (under the milky twilight) because i am hungover, needy and extremely attention seeking. (XL)Sold
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HATE PLATES
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Sorry I am staying in to have a tremendous orgasm. (S)Sold -
I think it is best to admit that our friendship has run its course. (S)Sold -
Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend. (S) -
I think it's safe to say we were never really friends, we were just fucked. (S)
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Babes, you're not quirky, you're just a cunt. (S)Sold -
Please do not spill on the tatami. It is Japanese. (made in China). (S) -
I only came to drink your fine wine, shit stir and delight in the unfolding drama. (M)Sold -
Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
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Which clever cunt drank all the delightfully, delicious crémant? (M) -
I liked brutalism before you liked brutalism. (M) -
I'm sure your lifetime ISA will keep you company when you are sat in a nursing home. (M) -
Give you (the world) one whole night of fart free bedtime. (M)
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We are sorry but posting shit pictures of your mediocre makeover does not make you an interior designer. (M) -
We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M) -
It is ok. i brought my own Lao Gan Ma crispy oil with me. (M) -
Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
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Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL) -
I only came to drink the nice wine i left behind last time and criticise the water pressure. (XL) -
Who drank all the fucking rosé? (XL) -
We are all thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine. and forgot the crisps. (XL)
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So sorry to inform you but i looked up the words shit, bland and tacky and all that came up were naff pictures of your recent renovation passion project (XL) -
Please help yourself to drinks as we see you've arrived empty handed. yet again. (XL) -
I'm not sure if i told you already, but i used to live in hackney wick, in a warehouse, before gentrification, but we had bidets. (XL) -
Don't you dare touch the fancy glasses. only i may use the fancy glasses. (XL)
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SCREENPRINTS
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SLEBS SLABS
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PAINTINGS
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NEONS
