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Dan Jamieson
Please don't make me beg for a top up, 30 October - 15 November 2025

Dan Jamieson: Please don't make me beg for a top up

Past exhibition
  • FRAMED HATE PLATES
  • HATE PLATES
  • SCREENPRINTS
  • SLEBS SLABS
  • PAINTINGS
  • NEONS
  • Overview
    Dan Jamieson, Please don't make me beg for a top up

     

    Back by popular demand (and a little bit of attitude), we're delighted to present Dan Jamieson's latest exhibition. His famous hate plates reimagine the politest of domestic objects as vehicles for satire — glossy, hand-crafted, and uncompromisingly blunt. Alongside luminous neons and bold prints, these works speak the thoughts we’d never say out loud (or perhaps only after a glass of wine), revealing the passive-aggressive undercurrents of contemporary life. They may make you laugh, squirm, or nod in recognition, but they also stand as brilliantly executed contemporary pieces of art: bold in design, precise in craft, and utterly unapologetic. 

     

    This page illustrates the pieces which are still available to purchase, and is updated regularly throughout the exhibition. 

  • FRAMED HATE PLATES
    • Is the gig seated? (S)
      Is the gig seated? (S)
      Sold
    • Who drank all the fucking fancy wine? (S)
      Who drank all the fucking fancy wine? (S)
      Sold
    • Fantastic. You bought the utter dog shit wine. (S)
      Fantastic. You bought the utter dog shit wine. (S)
    • I don't care even if it was an accident. There will be no fucking Ed Sheeran in this house. (S)
      I don't care even if it was an accident. There will be no fucking Ed Sheeran in this house. (S)
      Sold
    • I am dreadfully sorry but I only find you interesting when I am fucked. (S)
      I am dreadfully sorry but I only find you interesting when I am fucked. (S)
      Sold
    • I'd rather be drinking home made cocktails and dancing to talking heads. (S)
      I'd rather be drinking home made cocktails and dancing to talking heads. (S)
    • Please stop adding shit nostalgic songs from your youth to the carefully curated playlist. (S)
      Please stop adding shit nostalgic songs from your youth to the carefully curated playlist. (S)
      Sold
    • Quick! Quaff that wine as now is the time to dance badly to 90s R'n'B. (S)
      Quick! Quaff that wine as now is the time to dance badly to 90s R'n'B. (S)
    • (Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S)
      (Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S)
    • Pass le vin to pass le temps. (S)
      Pass le vin to pass le temps. (S)
    • I am sorry for fabricating another 'cold' for my child in order to cancel on you. (S)
      I am sorry for fabricating another 'cold' for my child in order to cancel on you. (S)
    • Please do not bring that overwhelmingly irritating friend of yours. (S)
      Please do not bring that overwhelmingly irritating friend of yours. (S)
      Sold
    • Give you the (world) smaller glass of wine and hope you don't notice. (M)
      Give you the (world) smaller glass of wine and hope you don't notice. (M)
    • A packet of percy pigs and a wank will have to do. (M)
      A packet of percy pigs and a wank will have to do. (M)
    • Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with bastard blossom hill. (M)
      Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with bastard blossom hill. (M)
    • (The Venga bus) Middle age is coming. (M)
      (The Venga bus) Middle age is coming. (M)
    • Please remember if we do not suggest another bottle, that is your hint to soon leave. (M)
      Please remember if we do not suggest another bottle, that is your hint to soon leave. (M)
    • Oh christ. Don't just stand there. Fetch more wine. (M)
      Oh christ. Don't just stand there. Fetch more wine. (M)
    • Fuck your fucking moany and drink this nice negroni. (M)
      Fuck your fucking moany and drink this nice negroni. (M)
    • Please do not vape in the house like some ill-mannered cunt. (M)
      Please do not vape in the house like some ill-mannered cunt. (M)
    • Oh babes, you are not a fucking interior designer. (M)
      Oh babes, you are not a fucking interior designer. (M)
    • Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with the echo fucking falls. (M)
      Fanfuckingtastic. You drank all the nice wine and left us with the echo fucking falls. (M)
    • Thou shall not kill the vibe with your antiquated and outdated opinions. (XL)
      Thou shall not kill the vibe with your antiquated and outdated opinions. (XL)
    • Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
      Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
    • Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case) (XL)
      Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case) (XL)
    • Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL)
      Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL)
    • Art is for everyone except you, you narrow minded twat. (XL)
      Art is for everyone except you, you narrow minded twat. (XL)
    • Kiss me (under the milky twilight) because i am hungover, needy and extremely attention seeking. (XL)
      Kiss me (under the milky twilight) because i am hungover, needy and extremely attention seeking. (XL)
      Sold
  • HATE PLATES
    • Sorry I am staying in to have a tremendous orgasm. (S)
      Sorry I am staying in to have a tremendous orgasm. (S)
      Sold
    • I think it is best to admit that our friendship has run its course. (S)
      I think it is best to admit that our friendship has run its course. (S)
      Sold
    • Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend. (S)
      Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend. (S)
    • I think it's safe to say we were never really friends, we were just fucked. (S)
      I think it's safe to say we were never really friends, we were just fucked. (S)
    • Babes, you're not quirky, you're just a cunt. (S)
      Babes, you're not quirky, you're just a cunt. (S)
      Sold
    • Please do not spill on the tatami. It is Japanese. (made in China). (S)
      Please do not spill on the tatami. It is Japanese. (made in China). (S)
    • I only came to drink your fine wine, shit stir and delight in the unfolding drama. (M)
      I only came to drink your fine wine, shit stir and delight in the unfolding drama. (M)
      Sold
    • Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
      Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
    • Which clever cunt drank all the delightfully, delicious crémant? (M)
      Which clever cunt drank all the delightfully, delicious crémant? (M)
    • I liked brutalism before you liked brutalism. (M)
      I liked brutalism before you liked brutalism. (M)
    • I'm sure your lifetime ISA will keep you company when you are sat in a nursing home. (M)
      I'm sure your lifetime ISA will keep you company when you are sat in a nursing home. (M)
    • Give you (the world) one whole night of fart free bedtime. (M)
      Give you (the world) one whole night of fart free bedtime. (M)
    • We are sorry but posting shit pictures of your mediocre makeover does not make you an interior designer. (M)
      We are sorry but posting shit pictures of your mediocre makeover does not make you an interior designer. (M)
    • We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M)
      We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M)
    • It is ok. i brought my own Lao Gan Ma crispy oil with me. (M)
      It is ok. i brought my own Lao Gan Ma crispy oil with me. (M)
    • Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
      Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
    • Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL)
      Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL)
    • I only came to drink the nice wine i left behind last time and criticise the water pressure. (XL)
      I only came to drink the nice wine i left behind last time and criticise the water pressure. (XL)
    • Who drank all the fucking rosé? (XL)
      Who drank all the fucking rosé? (XL)
    • We are all thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine. and forgot the crisps. (XL)
      We are all thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine. and forgot the crisps. (XL)
    • So sorry to inform you but i looked up the words shit, bland and tacky and all that came up were naff pictures of your recent renovation passion project (XL)
      So sorry to inform you but i looked up the words shit, bland and tacky and all that came up were naff pictures of your recent renovation passion project (XL)
    • Please help yourself to drinks as we see you've arrived empty handed. yet again. (XL)
      Please help yourself to drinks as we see you've arrived empty handed. yet again. (XL)
    • I'm not sure if i told you already, but i used to live in hackney wick, in a warehouse, before gentrification, but we had bidets. (XL)
      I'm not sure if i told you already, but i used to live in hackney wick, in a warehouse, before gentrification, but we had bidets. (XL)
    • Don't you dare touch the fancy glasses. only i may use the fancy glasses. (XL)
      Don't you dare touch the fancy glasses. only i may use the fancy glasses. (XL)
    • Rather pretty shitty vase for pretty shitty flowers
      Rather pretty shitty vase for pretty shitty flowers
  • SCREENPRINTS
    • I’m not sure if I told you already, but I used to live in London. (3rd edition)
      I’m not sure if I told you already, but I used to live in London. (3rd edition)
    • Reach for the (stars) second bottle of wine (and pop a third in the fridge just in case)
      Reach for the (stars) second bottle of wine (and pop a third in the fridge just in case)
  • SLEBS SLABS
    • I Want Candy.
      I Want Candy.
    • RIP. Robin in Peace.
      RIP. Robin in Peace.
    • Love a Selleck-tion Box.
      Love a Selleck-tion Box.
    • KFC. Kevin Fried Catherine.
      KFC. Kevin Fried Catherine.
  • PAINTINGS
    • Kyoto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
      Kyoto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
    • If you steal my (sunshine) white wine.
      If you steal my (sunshine) white wine.
    • All that she wants is another (baby) rosé.
      All that she wants is another (baby) rosé.
    • I want it (that way) rosé.
      I want it (that way) rosé.
  • NEONS
    • Please don't make me beg for a top up.
      Please don't make me beg for a top up.
    • Thank you for coming. Bring more wine next time.
      Thank you for coming. Bring more wine next time.
      Sold
    • Oh please just pour the wine already
      Oh please just pour the wine already
      Sold
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