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I'd rather be drinking homemade cocktails and dancing to nineties bangers. (S)Sold -
I'm not sure if I told you already, but I used to live in East London. (S)Sold
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Please take the very obvious hints as it is very fucking well past home time. (S)
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Now that's what I call yet another beige, bland and bastardly boring interiors insta account. (S)Sold
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Oh Christ. Please do not suggest to stay over. (S)Sold
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We liked you so much more before your midlife crisis. (S)Sold
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We still do not understand what you do for a job. (S)Sold
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(Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S)
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Super excited to cancel our hotly anticipated get together later. (S)
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Oh fantastic. You bought the utter dogshite wine. (S)Sold
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Oh stop. You are not an interior designer. (S)Sold
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Who drank all the fucking fancy wine? (S)Sold
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It's my party and I'll (cry) bore you to fucking death with our bathroom renovations if I want to. (S)Reserved
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Please politely tell the guests to piss off post haste. (M)
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Be useful. Fetch more wine. (M)
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Live in the moment but make sure you share a shit video of it. (M)
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Please do not fucking waste your time explaining the benefits of alcohol free wine. (M)
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What the world needs now is (love sweet love) more cunty content creators. (M)
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Yes I understand what you're saying but I also understand you are a complete and utter cunt. (M)Sold
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Please do not get in our way when we are recklessly day drinking. (M)Sold
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What the world needs now is (love sweet love) more fucking influencers. (M)
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I'm not sure if I told you already, but I used to live in London. (XL)Sold
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Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL)Sold
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Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
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Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case). (XL)
