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Don't you dare interrupt my well deserved wine and little treat time. (S)Sold -
It's my party and I’ll (cry) fart if I want to. (S)
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Je (ne) regrette (rien) beaucoup de things. (S)
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Dance like no one is watching except you're filming it so you can show everyfuckingbody. (S)
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No one fucking cares about your grand plans to relocate and leave London. (S)Sold
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Please do not invite yourself round. We are forever busy. (S)
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Please no fucking politics at the party. (S)Sold
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Yes I understand what you are saying but I also understand you are a total fucking prick. (S)Sold
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It's my party and I'll (cry) bore you to fucking death with our bathroom renovations if I want to. (S)
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Sorry those napkins are for a different calibre of guest. We have kitchen roll for you. (S)Sold
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(Life) Tom Cruise is short. Live it. (S)
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Babes, you're not quirky, you're just a cunt (S)Sold
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I am sorry for fabricating another 'cold' for my child in order to cancel on you. (S)Sold
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We liked you so much more before your midlife crisis. (S)
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All that she wants is another rosé. (M)
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What the world needs now is (love sweet love) more cunty content creators. (M)
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Babes, it's not a hidden gem, it's Hackney. (M)Sold
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Don't you dare invite me to anything after 4pm on a Sunday. (M)Sold
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Yes, you have told us already, you used to live in London. (M)Sold
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Oh fuck off with your 'we simply must get a date in the diary soon'. (M)Sold
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Please tell the guests to go as I am ever so weary of shitty small talk. (M)
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Thank you for the irrelevant advice that I will nod along to and internally scream at. (M)
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Reach for the third bottle of wine, (and pop a fourth in the fridge just in case). (XL)
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What the world needs now is (love sweet love) more fucking influencers. (M)
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Oh fuck your fucking health kick. I am smoking beaucoup de vogues and buttering my croissants. (XL)
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Art is for everyone except you, you narrow minded twat. (XL)Sold
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Please do not get the bag in. This was supposed to be a quick catch up over drinkypoos. (XL)
