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Sorry but I need to wait at least 4 hours to reply to make it appear I am terribly busy. (S) -
Sorry I was not listening I was thinking about what to look on my phone later. (S)
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This hate plate is to remind you to fuck off at sensible time. (S)
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Oh Christ. This was meant to be just an afternoon thing not an all-fucking-nighter. (S)
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Surely there is more to talk about other than your dated renovation plans. (S)
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Who drank all the ruddy fucking cremant? (S)
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Oh do shut the fuck up about your lovely time away and how it was just what you needed. (S)
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Leave me be for I am drinking wine and dancing to Robyn. (S)
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Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
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Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
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We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M)
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Please take the unsubtle hints and order a fucking cab as we are bored talking about your child reaching its many milestones. (M)
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We must confess we only came to guzzle your wonderful face slapping home made cocktails, finish off your overpriced crisps, drunk sexy dance and generally shit stir. (XL)
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Sorry those napkins are for a different calibre of guest. We have outdated novelty kitchen roll for you. (XL)
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Kiss me (under the milky twilight) because I am hungover, needy, excessively whiny and extremely attention seeking. (XL)
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Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL)
