Hate Plates
Fuck your fucking moany and drink this nice negroniSold- Hate plate to cover a minor diy disaster
- I really regret the seventh espresso martini
- I only came to flirt with your mother
- Don't you dare expect me to commit to the lavish and overly ambitious Sunday plans we made on a rosé soaked Saturday
- Just stop. There are more than enough cushions
- No worries if not I'll just check your stories to see if you're doing what you said you'd be doing
- Oh Christ. Not another achingly dull still life involving some fucking flowers and fruit
- Oh stop. You are not an interior designerSold
- Sorry but no one gives a flying fuck that you are taking an instagram break
- Sorry, no chance of fucking tonight as regrettably, I am full of Wetherspoons curry club
- Sorry Darling, there were no sodding Shrigleys left, so I got you this
- Sorry but I need to wait at least 4 hours to reply to make it appear I am terribly busy
- We only stayed as we heard you were finally getting a round in (you cheapskate bastard)
- Rather pretty shitty vase for pretty shitty flowers
- Darling, trust me, I am a thespianSold
- Do not make me fucking beg for a top upSold
- Don't mind if I dildoSold
- Don't you dare fucking skip Taylor fucking Swift
- Fuck this shite. I just want to dance
- Hate plate suitable for a future break up
- How long do I have to pretend to be enjoying myself?
- I am far too sober for your dramatic bullshit
- I am sorry I cannot come as I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of a promising online order
- It wasn't sentimental, just really fucking expensive
- Let me see that new bathroom renovation reveal
- New home, same sorry sad, drab interior
- Oh christ. Please do not suggest to stay over
- Oh please. Now is the perfect moment for Taylor mother fucking Swift
- Pass le vin to pass le tempsSold
- Please do not interrupt the playlist with shit, nostalgic songs from your youth
- Please do not make fucking boring small talk with me while our children briefly play
- Please do not take my words of encouragement as a sign to start a podcast
