Hate Plates
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We only stayed as we heard you were finally getting a round in (you cheapskate bastard). (S) -
Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend. (S)
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Please do not spill on the tatami. It is Japanese. (made in China). (S)
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Which clever cunt drank all the delightfully, delicious crémant? (M)
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Oh do shut the fuck up about your tremendously tasteless new extension. (M)
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Please, i am pretending to enjoy the natural wine. (M)
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We will never, ever forget your clumsy and avoidable red wine 'accident'. (M)
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I didn't realise having a child meant having so much mundane small talk with other parents. (M)
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Who drank all the fucking rosé? (XL)
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Sorry those napkins are for a different calibre of guest. We have outdated novelty kitchen roll for you. (XL)
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Please do not leave me desperately making conversation with your parents. (XL)
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Sorry Darling, there were no sodding Shrigleys left, so I got you this. (XL)
